A continuing problem in our society is that so many couples have departed from God's original blueprint for marriage. But here are some practical building materials God has ordered for His design. We're told about these materials - these bricks - in 1 Peter 3:1-7.

"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without talk by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Bricks for Wives.

The brick entitled "Behavior"

In verses 1 and 2, Peter paints a familiar scene. An ornery husband, a raspy response, an irritable temperament. But even though the guy is tough to live with, he cannot ignore the behavior of his godly wife as he "sees" her.
"Sees" is the Greek word for a careful observation, a close look like enthusiastic fans watching an instant replay of some close call. That's what a husband ultimately does when his wife's "purity and reverence" are consistently on display. And that's what ultimately "wins" him.

The brick labeled "Appearance"

In verses 3 and 4 Peter's point is clear. You are warned against going overboard, patching up the externals if your internals are pitifully lacking. It's just encouraging you to keep it in balance. All day long husbands encounter well-dressed and appealing women, and what do they see when they walk into the kitchen at 5:30 PM? The totaled woman! Your appearance is a significant "brick" that helps build a marriage.

The brick called "Attitude"

In verse 4 Peter mentions specifically the important attitude of "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." What a beautiful expression! And he adds that it is "of great worth in God's sight," meaning "of greater worth than gold" (1:7).

Wives, your attitude is that important. Don't misunderstand...this doesn't mean being a female doormat. Actually, these are terms that speak of strength of character, strong self-control, a person of quiet elegance and dignity. This kind of wife isn't churning within or restless without.

The brick designated "Response"

Before your feathers get ruffled by what verse 6 says of Sarah ("obeyed"), it will help you to realize the Greek verb means "to pay close attention to" someone. Wives, some of you have become far more concerned about responding to other's needs outside the home than to the one most important to you within the home.

Now, let's see what God says to the man of the house. It's equally potent.

A first brick

The first one is obvious: "Live with your wives" (verse 7). The term translated "live" means "to dwell down with, being closely aligned, being completely at home with." The little word "with" calls for close companionship, deep-down togetherness. We are the ones who should be cultivating an in-depth partnership with our mates. We are to initiate the action, encourage the process.

A second brick

A second "brick" for husbands could be put in these words: Know your wife. Literally the expression in verse 7 means "dwell together according to knowledge." The success of your dwelling with your wife will be in direct proportion to your knowledge of her. Knowing your wife includes those things that others don't and won't know. Her deep fears and cares. Her disappointments as well as her expectations. Her scars and secrets and also her thoughts and dreams. It calls for a sensitive spirit, a willingness to be involved, to listen, to communicate, to care.

Husbands - this will do as much to heal her hurts and calm the storm as anything I could suggest. Your wife longs to be understood and to know what you desire.

A third brick

The term "treat" (verse 7) means "to assign," and here the husband assigns her a place of honor. It's quite likely you genuinely view her as a precious treasure, a person you esteem, you honor. Does she know it? We tend to assume our wives know how much they mean to us. But there is nothing like telling her. Sometimes with well-chosen words. Other times with flowers. Or with a surprise weekend trip to offer undeniable proof that she is significant to you. On the way ack home, believe me, your wife won't have as much difficulty believing that you really want to be close to her, to know her, to honor her.

To both of you, handling bricks is a skill that has to be learned. But once you get the hang of it, no substitute will do. Fake bricks are never as attractive or valuable as the real thing.

Chuck Swindoll

Of course, no bricks will stand unless they are built upon a firm foundation. Your marriage needs to be built upon the "rock," Jesus Christ. If you've never accepted Him as your personal Savior, you can do so right now through a prayer like this:  Jesus, I admit that I have sinned against You and I need Your forgiveness. I believe You died on the cross to pay for my sins and rose again to give me a new life. Help me to put You first in everything I do, especially in my marriage. Amen.

If you have just prayed to receive Jesus as your Savior, you can write to ATS for some free information on your new life as a follower of Jesus.
Bible references: NIV
Taken from Strike the Original Match by Chuck Swindoll. Copyright ©1980 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House.
Cover by Identity Design - Printed in USA - ©2003