Pride shows up in a variety of ways. 

An excerpt Walking in Unity by Darrell Ferguson:

1.      Anger

This is the most common form of pride.  It can take a lot of forms – outbursts of temper, withdrawing, pouting, frustration, etc.  The greater your attitude of self-importance, the stronger the reaction against anyone who says or does anything that would seem to minimize your importance.  But when you do something that minimizes the importance of a truly humble person, he doesn’t even notice.  He doesn’t consider himself important, so it doesn’t even register in his mind as anything unusual.  That is why adults get angry when a server at a restaurant makes a mistake but children don’t get angry at that.  We think we are so important that we need to be waited on every moment and all our desires must be instantly met, so if it doesn’t happen, we get upset.

 

2.      Complaining

Complaining is passing judgment on God.  He is in control of circumstances.  So when I complain about circumstances, I’m passing judgment on God.  I am saying, “God, You are making a mistake.”  A proud person in a difficult situation thinks, Look what God has done to me after all I have done for Him.  I don’t deserve this.  Most of us would never say that out loud, but that is really the attitude behind all our complaining.  Complaining is a huge problem for us in the church.  We sometimes try to excuse it by calling it venting, as if frustration is like some kind of exhaust building up in you that just needs to be let out.  “I’m not complaining.  I’m just venting.”  Did you know God once killed an entire generation of Israelites for venting in the wilderness?  The Israelites thought they were just complaining about their circumstances and about Moses.  But in Exodus 16:8, Moses set them straight:

Who are we? You are not grumbling against us, but against the LORD."   When you complain about circumstances, you are complaining against God.  Complaining is a serious sin, because it’s a manifestation of pride. 

 

Numbers 14:26-29  The LORD said to Moses and Aaron: "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites.  So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the LORD…  In this desert your bodies will fall--every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.

 

3.      A lack of gratitude in general

Proud people have such an inflated sense of importance that they have an inflated sense of what they deserve.  When God graciously gives them gifts, they aren’t grateful because they think they deserved those gifts.  In fact, sometimes it just makes them mad because they think God should have given them something better.  God graciously grants a job and they are ungrateful for it because they think they deserve a better job.  They think they deserve better circumstances, a better car, a better house, a better wife, a better husband, better friends, better spiritual gifts, etc.  You have to look long and hard before you can ever spot any sign of genuine gratitude in them.  This lack of gratitude leads to the next one:

 

4.      False humility

False humility is when you are focused on the lack of your gifts and abilities.  This one fools a lot of people because it may not come across as pride at all.  In fact, some people mistake it for humility.  People like this are always down on themselves i.e. “I’m terrible at this.  I’m really bad at this.  I’m just a worm, I’m unimportant, I, I, I…”  That is false humility.  They keep telling you how humble they are but where is their focus?  Their focus is completely on themselves.  Humility is not putting yourself down.  Jesus was the most humble man ever and He never put Himself down.  Humility is focusing on others and considering their needs more important than your own.  People who put themselves down are usually doing that because they want you to disagree (or at least feel sorry for them).  That is pride.

 

5.      Talking too much

Many proud people think that what they have to say is more important than what everyone else has to say.  They don’t listen because they really aren’t concerned about anyone else or how anyone else feels.  When someone else is talking, the proud person is only thinking about what he is going to say next.  He doesn’t love anyone else or care about anyone else enough to genuinely think through what they are saying.

 

6.      Talking about yourself

When you are proud, the conversation inevitably revolves around you (especially when you are talking with someone who is humble, because both that person and you are concerned with exactly the same topic – you).  We have clever ways of disguising our boasting so it doesn’t sound like boasting.  But really our motive in what we are saying is not really to edify or build up the listener – our motive is to impress that person.

 

7.      Seeking pity

In our pride we always want to make sure everyone knows how rough we’ve got it.  Maybe we don’t complain or gripe.  We just see to it that someone knows how hard our situation is, so they will be impressed with how well we are handling it, or cut us slack for not handling it well.

 

8.      Seeking independence

Very often a proud person can’t stand to be dependent upon others.  They won’t accept help, they won’t accept gifts, they won’t accept many expressions of love because it damages their ego to think they are not self-sufficient which often leads to the next one:

 

9.      Lack of submissiveness and respect for authority

They have to be their own boss.  It is demeaning to them to be under authority because they think it implies that the authority must be considered better than them – and, of course, no one is better than them.  They know better than anyone how things should be done.  People like that are often rigid, stubborn, headstrong, and intimidating.  A subtle variation of this is the person who will only submit to the highest authority in the organization.  They don’t think they have a submission problem because, if someone who is really high up and really important – who really commands a lot of respect – tells them what to do, they will submit.  But that is pride, too.  It is the attitude that states:   I’m so important, and so intelligent, and so capable, that I am only answerable to the most important people.

 

10.  Being consumed with what others think

Some proud people make many of their decisions based on continual pursuit of gaining the approval and esteem of others.  They are man-pleasers rather than God-pleasers.  They need to be affirmed all the time.  And if you don’t affirm them, look out – they will probably begin to despise you.

 

11.  Being devastated or angered by criticism

Proud people can rarely handle criticism because all criticism is taken as an attack.  Therefore, their reaction is always defensive.  When someone criticizes you, are your first thoughts always defensive?  i.e. Well, they just don’t understand this, and this.  And they don’t appreciate this, and who are they to be talking anyway?...”  Your favorite verse in the Bible is Jesus’ warning about seeing to the log in your own eye before taking the speck out of someone else’s.  Suddenly you start finding huge logs in the eyes of everyone who criticizes you.  Therefore you think to yourself, I don’t have to listen to you – you’ve got a log.  Oh, so do you, and you, and you…  You never accept or profit from criticism because you always dismiss it, and because you think the other person has no business giving it, and because he’s got worse problems than you.  Jesus didn’t say, “Don’t accept criticism from someone with a log in his eye.”  All He said was not to be a hypocrite.  It doesn’t mean a person has to be sinlessly perfect before he can correct you or challenge you on something.  If you are finding logs in everyone else’s eyes, chances are you are the one with a problem.  Proud people have an inflated opinion of their own goodness, and so if you bring up a criticism that is a weakness they didn’t know they had, they can’t accept it.

 

12.  Making excuses

When they do finally come to grips with something they have done wrong, their repentance is full of excuses and blame-shifting i.e. I’m really sorry I did that, but…I was having a tough day, I was really tired, etc.  Therefore, I’m sorry but… means I’m really not sorry because…

 

13.  Being unteachable

You know you have a pride problem when anytime someone critiques you or tries to teach you, you resent it.  You can't seem to learn anything from anyone else, and there are very few people you respect.

Again, a subtle variation of this is when you are teachable, but only by the most respected people.  You can’t learn from some lowly person in the church.  If someone has less education than you, less experience than you, less intellectual ability than you, or who is younger than you, then you just can’t respect them or learn anything from them.  Some people just have age pride i.e. I’ve existed for 15 more years than you have existed, therefore I’m more important and I have nothing to learn from you.  That is a very natural expression of sinful pride which is why Paul had to tell Timothy, “Don’t let anyone despise your youth.” (1 Timothy 4:12)  We tend to despise those younger and less experienced than us.

 

14.  Being sarcastic, hurtful, or degrading

Proud people can be very unkind people.  They may not do it on purpose and many times they don’t even realize they are doing it.  They just tend to belittle everyone around them.  Ask yourself, Are people constantly getting offended by you?  If so, maybe there is a subtle arrogance in your attitude that sends the message to people that they are inferior.

 

15.  A lack of service

Proud people aren’t thinking of others, so they don’t want to serve unless it’s something enjoyable for them or that serves their interests.  They never serve self-sacrificially just simply out of genuine love for the body.  They rarely just see a need and meet it because they are mostly oblivious to others’ needs.  Usually they will only serve if they are asked.  They want to feel needed and important, therefore, they won’t do anything unless someone comes saying, “We need your help. You are qualified for this.”  Sometimes even that statement won’t be enough unless it is from someone really important.  Then when they do serve, if there is not enough praise or recognition, they want to quit.

 

16.  A lack of compassion

They are so focused on self that they are oblivious to how serious another’s suffering really is.

 

17.   A lack of asking forgiveness

Proud people rarely ask for forgiveness from others.  On the rare occasions that they do admit their sin, their concern is still about themselves.  They want to smooth over the relationship, they don’t want any more guilt, they don’t want any more discomfort, etc., but they really aren’t concerned with what they’ve done to you.  So they might try to patch things up, but you just don’t hear them asking forgiveness very often.

 

18.  A lack of prayer

Proud people don’t have a sense of dependence and neediness, and so they aren’t compelled to cry out to God in prayer.

 

19.   Voicing preferences or opinions when not asked

Ask yourself, do you find yourself throwing in your 2 cents more often than everyone else? The greater our sense of self-importance, the more urgency we feel in voicing our opinions – because those opinions are more important than everyone else’s.

 

20.   Minimizing your own sin and maximizing others sin and shortcomings.

When you get to talking about someone else’s faults, you go on and on and on but when you confess your sins, it only takes a few seconds.

 

21.  Impatience

You’re the most important person around; therefore your schedule is the most important schedule.  The people in line in front of you have no business even being at the store when you are there; the same goes for all the other cars on the road.  Your trip is important and the rest of these people should have stayed at home where they belong.

 

22.  Being jealous or envious

You hear about someone winning the lottery or getting some wonderful benefit, and instead of being genuinely happy for them, you are distressed because it didn’t happen to you.

 

23.  Using others

I’ll pay attention to you, but I’d better get something out of it.  I’ll give you a call and encourage you…when I need something from you.  What is most important is my work and my agenda; therefore, your job is to help me.

 

24.  Deceit

Some proud people will do just about anything in order for others not to find out negative things about them.  They may not tell an outright lie but they will mislead people into having a higher opinion of them than what is warranted.

 

25.  Attention-getting tactics

Very often pride wants attention so many times proud people will do something to attract attention.   They might do it through the following kinds of behavior:

·         the way they dress

·          bizarre behavior

·         being rebellious

·         always talking about their problems

·         being a comedian

·         getting a tattoo

·         crying

 

26.  Not having close relationships

Proud people often have no use for close relationships.  They see themselves as so self-sufficient that they do not need other people.  You don’t see them much at fellowship events, because they don’t need the body of Christ.  They don’t need any help in their spiritual growth, they don’t need anything. 

Conclusion

That’s quite a list, isn’t it?  Is there anyone here who survived that list?  What if none of those things describe you?  (If that’s the case, then you may have the biggest pride problem of all).  I don’t know how all that affects you but as I was studying these principles of pride and humility this week, I was absolutely brutalized by God’s Word.  This is convicting stuff.  Sometimes I may preach about various different sins which may or may not apply you.  But if I preach about pride, it hits us all, doesn’t it?  Because pride is the very essence of all sin.  Learning about true humility really uncovers the core of our sinfulness.  So now here we all are – bruised and bleeding and broken over the enormity of our sinful pride.  What should we do now?  Full text:  Walking in Humility by Darrell Ferguson