These seem like strange, even shocking, words coming from the Lord Jesus Christ as they do. It is obvious, however, that He is not urging hatred of one's relatives here, but rather is referring to hatred in a relative sense--relative to one's love for God and His will, that is.
Jesus has commanded us to "love thy neighbour" (Matthew 22:39), and even to "love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44), so it is certain that He expects us to love our families. But love for God must be paramount. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind" (Luke 10:27).
There are some cases, however, when, in so loving the Lord, "a man's foes shall be they of his own household" (Matthew 10:36). Happily, such cases are the exception, but if ever such a choice has to be made, the one who would truly be Christ's disciple must follow Him at all costs. For, as Jesus went on to say, "whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:27).
Even in such unfortunate cases, we are still commanded to "honour thy father and mother" (Ephesians 6:2), and to "provoke not your children to anger" (Colossians 3:21). The Lord Jesus has left us the example. Though His mission was long rejected by His human family (John 7:3-5), He remained patient with them, while at the same time placing God first. "For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother" (Mark 3:35). Eventually His mother was found among His disciples (Acts 1:14), as were at least two of His brothers (1 Corinthians 9:5). Thus genuine love for God will often find itself reflected later in the love of one's family for Him as well. HMM http://www.icr.org/article/5911/