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Tolkien on Marriage, Lust, and Friendship

njspolk

I was a part of my friends' wedding this weekend and I have also been reading through The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien edited by Humphrey Capenter. I came to a letter that Tolkien had written to his son, Michael about marriage and relations between the sexes.

He says, "In this fallen world the 'friendship' that should be possible between all human beings, is virtually impossible between man and woman." (Carpenter 48)

Ac 3:3

Satan's strategy is: divide, deceive, destroy. 2 Co 2:11, Heb. 13:4

...He also says that marriage is self-denying. "Faithfulness in Christian marriage entails that: great mortification. For a Christian man there is no escape. Marriage may help to sanctify & direct to its proper object his sexual desires; its grace may help him in the struggle; but the struggle remains." (Carpenter 51)

I pose another question in light of this statement: Can the sacrament of marriage be a sanctifying agent...

Yes, if he is a believer, he sanctifies her. If she is a believer, she sanctifies him (1 Co 7:14).

...[E]nough so that a couple can be cleaned entirely of lust?

Marriage helps to prevent fornication (1 Cor. 7:2, 9).

Is man the only subject to this lust in a man and woman marriage relationship?

Mostly (Mt 5:28).

Or are all human beings unable to escape lust's grasp?

Escape or die (Ro 5:13, Re 2:7).

njspolk

[Tolkien] He says, "In this fallen world the 'friendship' that should be possible between all human beings, is virtually impossible between man and woman." (Carpenter 48). Is he right? Is it possible for men and women to be just 'friends' without any lustful tension whatsoever?

He's right (Mt 22:30).

Tolkien on Marriage, Lust, and Friendship