What would YOU do with TOLers?

I'd duct tape Freeli' in a chair until he admitted lightbulbs aren't gods.
I'd remove PlastikBuddah's exoskeleton, revealing his/her Predatoresk face.
I would look closely for Gamera's Adam's apple.
I'd place sticky note Bible verses on Cruciform's forehead.
I'd send Bybee Emily Post's school of manners.
I'd play mini-hockey with Knight.
I'd tar and feather Granite.
I'd make rattlesnake earrings with VC.
I'd tell the Borg the location of Godrulz.
I'd rig Arthur Brain's iPod to play only: "It's a small world"
I'd sell Gerald to the circus freakshow if they'd take him.
I'd slip Patricius79 a mickey and tattoo "amen" on his/her arm.

I'd pay for Barbarian's liposuction.
I'd drop Alate_One into a den of hyenas.

Response to comment [from a Catholic]:  "The Formidable Strunk of the "little book" fame. The Elements of Style are all you need to know about decent writing."

That's right Barbi'. We all should have Strunk and White: The Elements of Style and Margaret Shertzer's The Elements of Grammar on our desks.

Response to comment [from a Christian]:  "How am I going to spot a puck?"

I look where the puck is going not where it's been (the great one, Gretsky's dad).

Response to comment [from a Christian]:  "My Strunk & White friend"

There is a difference between proclaiming that you have class and--having class. "You're like summer vacation--no class." ~ Fat Albert

My Stunk and White friend has actually got the goods.

Response to comment [from a Christian]:  "I'm betting that when you were little, your mom got letters from the teacher describing how badly you play with others..."

No, they loved me.

"This list isn't even remotely funny, it's just sad."

Maybe you're right--what an insult to Predator. Even he wouldn't go after the weak and defenseless among us.

What would you do with TOLers?